sunrise

my cat is sound alseep in my lap and since i'm already feeling bad about leaving her to go to work, i don't have the heart to wake her up so that i can get around to the million-and-one things i'm supposed to be doing. so poor old me have to blog and listen (again) (and again and again) to the lovely "live forever" by magnus carlsson. not that my computer isn't full of more music, it's just the choice i've made.

to update on the beautiful situation with my favourite person in the whole wide world, i was kind of surprised how quickly i forgave myself for letting her back in, dragging her fucked up world with her. i kicked her out again though, although she might not know this yet, and she's not coming back in. i know she could be a lovely person, but if she wants to destroy her life to be able to go on complaining and proving that her life is sooooo hard and complicated she can sink without me. there's no love in going down with someone although this world seems to want us to be under that impression. the smoothness with which she was booted out might have something to do with a nice young man with beautiful features, but who knows. maybe i would already be here without him as well. (how the heteros/homos of the world get by i will never understand.) it was definately the right time for him to come wandering back in to my path. i've missed the beautiful men. thank you, faith.

what else? the chaos of snow is making me apprehensive about going to work, but then, i'm not sure i can afford not to.


i'm gonna live forever. don't you ever forget.