essence

i have been thinking about my choice of language. it wasn't a conscious choice, it was simply made in the back of my mind. or heart or wherever. i am not promising that i will stick to this choice. overall i tend to stay away from the entire promise-making business. it will only force you downhill one day when you really didn't need it to. i think this might be why i am not religious. but that is a topic for another day completely.

this world sees far too many promises. of love, of help and of compassion and time. and in the middle of all the promises the origins of the words are lost. i spend so much time claiming that i wish i was a better world citizen that it's not only ridiculous, but actually bordering on offensive and something that ought to be illegal. i claim i want a better environment but i stand in the shower for ages some days, i shout out for knowledge but i don't spend remotely enough hours a day actually reading for a full-time student. and here i am again; complaining rather that actually doing. it's the story of my patheticness. when i feel bad enough i talk about it, i write about it, but i don't even open a book to prove myself wrong.

all the same i try to care for our important words. like love. never stop fighting to give those words a public meaning which equals the one in your own heart. so many in this world have it all wrong. teach that love is never anything which in any way can be experienced as abuse.

and listen to 'revolution of love' - joey tempest. because that is acutally all i wanted to convey anyway. only so much better put.